I first met our neighbor, Elsie, five years ago when I was looking for our missing cat. She was seventy-nine at the time, living in a house that was about to be overtaken by blackberries. She invited me in and I wasn't sure I wanted to sit down. Admittedly, she wasn't much of a housekeeper. I'm not sure how much of that was her age and how much was personality. I won't judge; housekeeping isn't my thing either. Elsie had been a widow for something like twenty years.
Anyway, over the years we'd occasionally chat at her mailbox or on the phone. She'd make us a swag for Christmas and I'd take her homemade apple cider or leave treats in her mailbox. Whenever I did, she'd tell me she'd written it in her "blessing book." She had very little money and was always so grateful for the little things.
Elsie was fiercely independent. Two years ago, when we had all of that horrible weather right before Christmas, she was snowed in for at least a week. She didn't have power for five days. I kept calling to check on her and offer to help. Finally, she agreed to let us take her to the grocery store. She tried to put it off, but I insisted. Good thing, because the next day we had freezing rain and an ice storm like I'd never seen and even our Xterra couldn't have made it up her steep hill. She talked about our "rescue" frequently after that.
Elsie had two adopted sons. One was so abused he didn't come out from under a bed for quite awhile and the other has severe brain damage and mental illness from the effects of alcohol (and drugs?) during pregnancy. The first lives back east; I have no idea how long it's been since he's visited his mom, but I do know it's been a long time. The second lives on his own a couple of miles from here, but Elsie did a lot for him and a neighbor looks after him as well.
Almost exactly a year ago, I learned at the grocery store that Elsie was in the hospital. By the time I figured out how to track her down, she was in a nursing home not too far from here. She'd been diagnosed with lung cancer. I went to visit her twice in the week and a half before Judson was born. She was THRILLED. She was as sharp as a tack...remembered everything. That always amazed me, especially since my memory is so terrible already.
She got to go home the day before Judson was born, I think. She called the next day and left a message at my house at the same time my water broke. As soon as she was up for it, I took Judson over to meet her.
I saw her in the store once after that and talked to her on the phone a couple of times. Unfortunately, the last time I called her, it was to tell her that some teenage boys were walking up her driveway. (Her house is out of sight of the road.) She immediately started chatting away and I had to cut her off to tell her about the boys. She said not to send Nate out; she'd go investigate. I sent him anyway. :) I kept meaning to call her back just to chat, but never got around to it.
Last Saturday, I was outside with Judson when a firetruck stopped in the road. They were looking for her house. Her caregiver had called when she didn't answer the door. We found out Sunday morning that she was in ICU and went straight from church to visit her. She wasn't in good shape, but was again THRILLED I'd come to see her. Though it was really hard for her to talk, she just kept talking and talking. She talked about how much she liked my mom when she met her last summer and she said she wished she'd known me fifteen (or fifty? I couldn't understand) years earlier. That we'd have had a lot of fun together.
She really wanted to see Judson, but they wouldn't let her. No kids under twelve allowed in ICU unless death is imminent. At that time, it wasn't. I promised I'd bring pictures back.
Elsie was a Christian and she kept saying, "Thy will be done." Though the visit was hard, it was such a relief to know that she knew Jesus and she'd soon be going to heaven. And that I would see her again one day! I prayed with her before I left.
On Monday I found out she'd been moved to a different floor of the hospital and was receiving "comfort measures." Her bowel was perforated and toxins would soon take her life. The great news about the move was that I could take Judson to see her! We spent about an hour with her. Her one son was with her, as well as LOTS of people from her church. The toxins were starting to affect her brain, but she still knew most of what was going on and she loved seeing Judson. Despite a terrible nap, he held up so well. Thank You, Lord! He held her hand and entertained everyone. She died the next morning (Sept. 21).
I am so thankful to have known Elsie. She was one-of-a-kind. I only wish I would have taken more time to reach out to her in this past year. Though I can't go back and change things, I can take this lesson forward. Loving on others is one of the most important things I can do with my time. Along with loving Jesus, it is the most important thing I can teach Judson. So, I guess the housework will just have to wait. :)
Heidi at Six
4 years ago
